What I learnt being a superhero

I used to be a super hero. It sounds silly now but it’s true. I wasn't like superman, with a million special powers. Really, I was closer to batman. I used my ingenuity to right wrongs. But I did have laser eyes too. I had a nemesis (obviously). He was created in a lab by an evil scientist, or something. Both held a limited regard for human life. I killed my nemesis last time we met. His demise followed a ferocious three-day battle in a desert, which was on the news. However, two days later I discovered that he had a built in back-up support unit that meant he could never really die. He could re-spawn. That’s not a level playing field. And I decided it wasn't really worth it any more. 

What I know about training to be a spy...

The training went really well, thanks: much better than it could have done, anyway. 

It lasted two-years and included things like: guns, outdoor survival, acting, cars, espionage techniques, fighting skills (including those designed to disable, as well as inflict fatal injury), casinos, the secret arts of seduction, manipulation and infiltration, drugs, languages, diplomacy, torture and travel. 

We were also taught how to work well individually as well as within the group situation. Though it was made very clear to us, on the last day of the training programme, that life as a spy can be rather lonely at times. This made me sad and made me not want to be a spy anymore... 

In the woods...

If you go down to the woods today,
You're sure of a big surprise.
If you go down to the woods today,
You'd better go in disguise.
For every bear that ever there was (dead bears?)
Will gather there for certain because
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.

Grizzly scenes.