LOST CAT

LOST CAT

Hello,

My cat went missing the other day.

And we can’t find him anywhere.

Unfortunately I have never taken a picture of him, so I can’t show you what he looks like (this is making me more sad than I already was about losing her in the first place).

He is a smallish brown dog, with nice eyes and a big tail.

His favourites are the park and eating treats.

He is called Bowser (like off Super Mario Land).

He has got a kind of blue collar.

If you find him please let me know.
Thanks.

Also if you have any information

Reward.

A thank you letter (1)

Dear host,

My fairly recent visit to your ‘house’ was truly a special time for me. And I feel it only appropriate to acknowledge as much in ink on paper (see below).

As you well know, when I arrived on that blustery autumn eve I was pretty much on the edge of totally losing it. But your baked food and the antique chairs upon which you let me sit pacified me greatly.

Three weeks in to my stay with you – I hope you recall – I was finally able to smile. And only a day or two later, I managed to let go of that ceremonial sword I’d been lugging around. I have you, and your kindly kin, to thank for equipping me with the requisite powers to stride past those particular personal milestones. And I am forever in your debt(s).

I think the period of my stay I look back upon most fondly is the bit that happened just after we had the disagreements. Once we’d lain to rest the ugly discussions regarding who was taking advantage of whom, I hope you agree that we had a solid couple of weeks.

Particular highlights for me from this period include the strolls ‘cross the marshes, hitting the booze hard, playing with the Scalextric set, and the day we got that swan. Lol.

It’s been – what? – three months, two weeks and but a few days since I left you now, and I have to tell you, I have never been more financially secure in my entire life. Shortly after leaving your residence, I received a telegram detailing a hugely fortuitous string of events.

A long lost relative of mine passed away over on the continent last year. And, as they were on the way to hear the reading of the will, his next of kin were all killed by forks of lightening from the sky. Three foreign solicitors have, since then, spent seven months trying to track me down. And I am now the proud owner of a cool three point five mil.
 
Your friend,
Carl Badcoqe

A boring story detailing what I did when I got out of bed and some other things too

I woke when my phone started vibrating and making sounds.
It went off at 7.30.
But I enjoyed ten minutes’ worth of Senior Snooze.
So I got out of bed at just after 7:40. I think it was 7:42, actually.
Next it was time for a shower, which went: shampoo (Brilliant Brunette), conditioner (not sure), shower gel (Radox’s Watermint and Sea Minerals), and then face wash (supermarket own brand).
I then brushed my teeth with a toothbrush and some white toothpaste designed for sensitive teeth, which I have.
I dried my body with a light blue towel measuring 1.3 metres by 75 centimetres, which I then placed into my washing basket. Light blue is, in fact, my favourite colour.
I should probably have hung it (the towel) up to dry before putting it in the washing basket cos I don’t want all the other items in my basket going damp while they wait to be washed in my washing machine.
Hopefully no ill will come of that.
I then got dressed: pants, then socks, followed by shirt, trousers, tie, and jacket.
Breakfast was coffees.
It was then time to leave the house because I was due at the inaugural meeting of the Intergalactic Heroes Gang at precisely 100.2, Standard Space Time (SST).