In a dandelion

And it wasn't actually the first time she’d unrolled a dandelion and discovered another world where men have wings and dogs have lasers eyes...


That woman

That woman with the big arms followed me round to the bins again last night. It was the fifth time this month. And it’s weird because I don’t think she even lives in our block. Each time I open the door to take the rubbish out she’s waiting there; standing under the tree round the side of the house. She follows me round to the bins, skulking a couple of metres behind with her face pointing down towards the ground. She usually watches me throw the rubbish in to the bin and then remains in the bin area, kicking stones and things around while I walk back to the house. But last night it was different. Last night she followed me back round to the front door. Before I unlocked it, I turned to her and said: “What are you doing? What do you want?” “Nothing and nothing,” she said cheerily, before flying up towards the twinkling starlit sky... 


Which would you rather? (1)

Would you rather have eyes on stalks or mince beef for hair?


Electric Snakes and Normal Birds

Q: "If a situation is brought about whereby the electric flying snakes are placed into direct battle for air space with the normal birds, who do you think would emerge victorious?"
A: Normal birds.