When I was little, I built a snowman in my front garden.
He was great, twice as tall as me. I was so proud.
He had a big green hat, which went perfectly with dad’s old green scarf (cashmere, naturally).
I used three pieces of coal, to give the impression he had buttons down his front.
More coal was used to create the illusion of eyes and a mouth.
And I stuck a Clementine into the middle of his face for a nose.
Then, that night, he came to life, dragged me from my bed and flew me off to some awful snowman land.
It was terrifying.
Psymun, aged 41