Snowman: 'sno joke

When I was little, I built a snowman in my front garden.

He was great, twice as tall as me. I was so proud.

He had a big green hat, which went perfectly with dad’s old green scarf (cashmere, naturally).

I used three pieces of coal, to give the impression he had buttons down his front.

More coal was used to create the illusion of eyes and a mouth.

And I stuck a Clementine into the middle of his face for a nose.

Then, that night, he came to life, dragged me from my bed and flew me off to some awful snowman land.

It was terrifying.

Awful.

Psymun, aged 41