What I have learnt being human

You may or may not know that several years ago I entered into a contract with what can only be described as a super secret organisation (SSO). This agreement meant I had the opportunity to experience life from a variety of different vantage points. I was turned temporarily into a dog, a planet, a pirate, a super hero and a ghost, as well as several other entities.

I had some amazing experiences. The one that has left it mark most indelibly in my data bank is when I was a planet. I’m obsessed with space and, despite the inevitable isolation I experienced during my time as a celestial body, it’s going to be hard to beat in terms of life experiences. Being a ghost was a right laugh too, for a bit.

But the reason I'm saying all this is that, although I have learnt so much and am grateful to have experienced and seen more than anyone could ever reasonably expect, I’m happiest now that I am a permanent human again.

Humans have the potential to shape their own experiences and to display and receive empathy in ways fun-sounding things like cars and ghosts and planets can never hope to understand.

A human is a fantastic thing to be. Congratulations.
NOTE: Advanced aliens are better than humans


What I learnt being an alien

Being an alien is really weird.

Putting to one side the fact that the alien I was had a super advanced alien brain capable of comprehending mind boggling concepts even the most exceptional human minds are unable to master, the weirdest thing about being an alien was communicating via telepathy. It was a bit like having an unreleased version of the iPhone, powered by brainwaves, located inside your soul.

My favourite thing about being a member of an advanced alien civilisation was the opportunity to experience a different level of progression and understanding. Their technological advancement was equalled only by their harmonious relationship with their natural environment. God knows how they managed it. It was really inspiring.

But I have to admit that being an alien was just too confusing. I didn’t really know what was going on during any of the 900 days I was on their planet. #lol


What I learnt being a car

Being a car is pretty good. When I was a car I had a good time. I wasn’t a Formula One car, nothing that fast – that would be terrifying. Can you imagine? Screeching around the track at 200 mph. And with your eyes (the headlights, that is) cruising only a few centimetres above the boiling hot tarmac. That would be bonkers!

But my experience was nothing like that; I wasn’t a Ferrari or even an Audi– that would have been cool though. I like Audis, like the old Quattro and the new one, the futuristic one...

Anyway, the car I was when I was a car was an ordinary car, like what your dad had when you were younger. I had a solid safety record and plenty of space for the kids and a dog and enough luggage space for a long weekend, you know. I offered a smooth, if uninspiring driving experience; pleasant but unremarkable. It was all very nice but what I learnt from my time as a car is that if you are going to be a car you may as well be a wicked car. eg: Knightrider et al.