A thank you letter (1)

Dear host,

My fairly recent visit to your ‘house’ was truly a special time for me. And I feel it only appropriate to acknowledge as much in ink on paper (see below).

As you well know, when I arrived on that blustery autumn eve I was pretty much on the edge of totally losing it. But your baked food and the antique chairs upon which you let me sit pacified me greatly.

Three weeks in to my stay with you – I hope you recall – I was finally able to smile. And only a day or two later, I managed to let go of that ceremonial sword I’d been lugging around. I have you, and your kindly kin, to thank for equipping me with the requisite powers to stride past those particular personal milestones. And I am forever in your debt(s).

I think the period of my stay I look back upon most fondly is the bit that happened just after we had the disagreements. Once we’d lain to rest the ugly discussions regarding who was taking advantage of whom, I hope you agree that we had a solid couple of weeks.

Particular highlights for me from this period include the strolls ‘cross the marshes, hitting the booze hard, playing with the Scalextric set, and the day we got that swan. Lol.

It’s been – what? – three months, two weeks and but a few days since I left you now, and I have to tell you, I have never been more financially secure in my entire life. Shortly after leaving your residence, I received a telegram detailing a hugely fortuitous string of events.

A long lost relative of mine passed away over on the continent last year. And, as they were on the way to hear the reading of the will, his next of kin were all killed by forks of lightening from the sky. Three foreign solicitors have, since then, spent seven months trying to track me down. And I am now the proud owner of a cool three point five mil.
 
Your friend,
Carl Badcoqe